Archive | January 2012

A sad day in happy valley.

Today, I woke up bright and early to go to the gym. I hung out on the elliptical and did body pump. Upon exiting the group fitness room, I noticed grown men huddled around the TV’s, some of them with tears in their eyes. The headline wasn’t a shock to me but the heaviness of the news still sits on me, 8 hours later.

A legend that once walked among us has passed on.

If you are from central PA, you know this man. This is a man that means a lot of things to a lot of people.

If this had happened in any other way, I’d be celebrating a life well lived. But the timeline of events that preceeded his death cannot be ignored. And I’m sure they were on the forefront of his mind as he passed. And this is not something anyone should have to experience in the last two months of their life.

All I really want to say here is that I’m mourning for one of the greatest men to ever coach football, who built up a university, and who had some of the highest graduation rates.

So, here’s to you Joe Pa ❤




So last night I was super bored. And nothing seemed to keep me from being on edge all day. I decided to watch a movie. And since I’m already having crazy ass nightmares about my wedding, I thought why not add some more: Enter Bridesmaids.


This movie is hilarious on all levels. I laugh out loud throughout the entire movie, and that’s not realy my style. It’s a shame this movie got snubbed at the Golden Globes. Assholes.

So, a lot of this movie focuses on how much weddings can screw with people’s lives. Weddings make people crazzzy. And I don’w know why? I’m definitely not a bridezilla. But I can’t help but wonder how the wedding will affect me and my gal pals. I don’t want to lose friendships over my big day. Ugh, I actually hate when people refer to it as “their big day.” No, it’s not YOUR big day, its your husband and your big day. He kind of started the whole process anyhow didn’t he? Unless you are one of those women who bought your own ring: it’s not your day! I actually am ok with it being just KJ’s day. In fact, that’s what I’m going to tell everyone from now on. “Well, Nicole, it’s your day.” “Actually, it’s KJ’s day and I’m taking the back seat on this event.”

But I thought it might be fun to give a shout out to my bridesmaids and a short bio on them. ‘Cause it’s their day, too.

Maids of Honor

This is my sister, Toni. She blogs at transformingtoni. She works for the state at the LCB and sells products from itWorks! on the side.  She has already been a huge help with this dreadful process. And especially helpful with warding off the dreaded mother of the bride. I think my mom thinks its HER day. I mean, it may not be MY day but certainly isn’t HER day!

This is my other MOH, Allie. We have been friends since 2nd grade. Allie goes to Penn State and works at Mulligans. She studies PR and wants to plan parties. So, I’m putting her to work to plan my wedding. Heck, she can even wear the white dress and marry my fiance if that means I can stop working out like a nutcase and eat normal food. I vote for that option.


This is my other childhood friend, Chrissy. While I’ve known her since 1st grade, we mostly didn’t like each other in elementary school! In fact, she hated me. I have proof! Haha, those are funny memories. But luckily that changed! CB is going to teach your products how to be decent members of society. And for that she deserves a medal.

This is my friend Nicole from college. We both went to Messiah, obviously, which is a seriously christian school. No we didn’t meet at church, we met at a party. I may or may not have been drunk. But she was my mentor during her senior year and we have been happily gossiping with each other ever since. She really has been a rock for me during nursing school.

This is one of Kj’s sister’s Brianna. She is by far the most stylish person I know and is very helpful, too. She has already found gorgeous dress options for the bridesmaids. Truth is, I don’t much care what they wear, but what she picked out is exactly what I have been secretly picturing. I really adore Bri, and I can see us becoming great friends over the course of our lives.

My final bridesmaid is my younger cousin Chelsey. She is going to start California University for a dual major in altheletic training and education. She is someone I love to offer my advice to, although I’m sure I just annoy the heck out of her instead. I have enjoyed watching her come of age and become a strong, independent young women. God, you know you are old when you say stuff like that.

So there you have it. My wedding party. I wish I could just party with these girls over the next year and a half and forgot the troubling planning and such.



This entry was posted on January 19, 2012. 2 Comments

For the sake of writing a post

So I have no motivation right now. Some call it lazy. I call it senioritis- hey there, it’s about friggin’ time you showed up. I spent 500+ hours studying my second to last semester away. And this semester its not going to happen. I feel great. I feel free. I feel… bored as hell.

Honestly, all I do is sit in my apartment all day. It’s super lame. I mean I go to the gym and doing all that jazz. But then I napped. And then I laid around. And then I watched law and order SVU. And then I went to spinning class. And then I watched biggest loser. And then I went to bed. Ugh, so mundane. I need to work more or something. Speaking of SVU my fiance’s aunt is an actress who guest appears on the show a lot. She got me socks for christmas. I’m wearing them now. This made me instantly more cool when I put them on.

So. Biggest loser is my favorite show. But this season, I could literally punch all those girls lights out. Conda is by far the most manipulative, annoying contestant EVER. Why would they even put her on the BL? She clearly doesn’t deserve it. I guess it fits the theme “no excuses” but its super annoying to watch her pick a fight with every single cast member. And she isn’t even pulling her weight, haha pun NOT intended, but appreciated. So I say vote her off.

Ok, its dinner time. It’s like the only highlight of my day and I don’t intend on wasting it.


PS today in class we talked about our personality types. Mine is ISFJ. I was an ENTP in high school. I guess hanging out by myself all day changed me. What are you?


Date day


After 12 hours of pure hardwork, I was about beat last night. It was almost the kind of night where I could have passed up dinner if it wasn’t conveient enough. Thanks to my fiance, I had my ideal sandwich waiting for me. My go-to sandwich is a bit, odd, but its good I swear. It’s pumpernickel bread, grilled chicken, swiss cheese, honey mustard, bbq sauce, oregano, and vinegar. So after I stuffed myself with dinner, I passed out in bed and slept 11.5 hours. I decided to ease into my morning with yoga. After all that, I texted KJ to see what was up for the day and was happy to hear he would be off at 11 instead of 2ish. We decided on lunch at the Olive garden (soup and salad!) and then we went over to the Flagship cinemas (best prices and best chairs, they ROCK back and forth) to see the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.


Before going to the movies, we made a pit stop at wegmans to get some essentials. New to me luna bar flavors and candy!



Honestly, the bulk candy bin is so much cheaper than spending 5 dollars on a box of candy. I’m not the biggest fan of the movie candy anyhow. I picked out chocolate covered pretzels and he got reese’s pieces. We got licorice to share. All for about 4 dollars. Can’t beat it!

The movie was fantastic, as was the book. And the company was even better. I’m a lucky girl. Now its 8 and I’m bored. And I miss my pup.


This entry was posted on January 14, 2012. 4 Comments

Wedding Dress Nightmares

Ever since I’ve gotten engaged, I have suffered from wedding nightmares. My date is roughly a year and a half away, but I still can’t seem to stop dreaming about all the things that can go wrong with weddings. If you are unfamiliar with the process a lot of things CAN and DO go wrong with weddings. My dreams usually involve the dress.

Ugh, that dumb dress.

I went dress shopping once. It was a disaster. At first, the idea of dress shopping was scary for me. I didn’t want it to trigger me into the negative self talk that I had been trying to overcome. I also thought it would be terrible because I would look bad in all of them because, at the time, I also felt like my body was crap. Although, I realize these feelings are normal for all brides to have going into dress shopping, I feel like it was especially as hard for me because I was working on fixing my disordered eating and over exercising habits. And still currently am.

So in retrospect, I guess I could say the experience was good and bad.

The Good: I went to Elizabethtown to try on dresses at the bridal emporium. The women who helped me was terrific. She was nice and sweet. However, I gathered that not all brides are as laid back as I was about dress shopping, so if you’re a bitching bride, don’t be surprised to find mean staff. That is all. Anyhow, I tried on about 30 dresses. I couldn’t find exactly what style dress I thought I wanted there. So I took the time to figure out what does and doesn’t work by principle. I tried on what my mom thought I should wear: a big poofy thing. And we found that while it looked good it just didn’t show off my “assets” aka I could do better. Then I tried on what my sister thought I should and it didn’t get over my hips. A bridal size 4 equals a women’s 00, just in case there are any self-conscious brides out there. My advice, don’t look at the numbers. It’s not worth it. It’s a dress you will wear once. And I would rather worry about what the man at the end of the aisle will do when he sees me in the dress rather than what size it is. Seriously. And for the record: I want him to fall to his knees and cry out some man tears. What was also good was the out pouring of compliments I was receiving from everyone in the store. It’s a vulnerable moment to go out in a dress and trying to on for tons of people. I don’t even like coming out of the dressing room for one friend let alone 10. Everyone made it easy on me and really helped me to feel secure with myself.

The Bad: I took too many people. It was as if this first experience was more novelty for me than about finding a dress. I had my dad, mom, sister, nephew, and two friends. It was a lot. Because everyone has their opinions. The most opinionated person was my mother. She just has this idea for me, and it’s not my vision. But she also made some triggering comments during the process that made it hard. Once she commented on a dress that didn’t zip up asking them “um, what sizes are you carrying here because she should fit into them?” As annoying as that comment was, I had to remind her that I don’t care about the size. And quite frankly, I wasn’t even sure of the size anyhow! Luckily the staff chimed in about how bridal dresses are about 2-4 sizes smaller than normal sizes. Honestly though, it was hard to hear. My mom is truly a great mother, but she is FAMOUS for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. The other bad part was I tried on too many dresses. By the time I was all done, I was exhausted and I felt mentally drained. You wouldn’t think it would be a tiring process but it was. I just wanted to go back and sleep.

So there you have it. My first wedding dress fitting. The stats were 20 “I hate” and 7 ” I didn’t hate as much.” But the bridal emporium staff was top-notch and the dresses were very reasonable. I tried on these dresses in October and I haven’t tried on any since. I plan to go to another store in the near future and see how things go there.

Oh, and about those wedding dress nightmares? Two nights ago, I had a dream where it was the night before my wedding and KJ and I were driving in a car to go dress shopping because I didn’t have a dress. And in my dream, the anxiety level was super high and he wasn’t being helpful and I started beating him? HAHA, I swear I’m not abusive and I would never ever do that. I just wonder what that means?


This entry was posted on January 13, 2012. 2 Comments

New Baby

“I dunno nuttin’ ’bout birthin’ babies”

Or I wish I didn’t.

KJ: I will not touch you with a 10 foot pole if the aftermath of that is an old torn up vag. Good grief!

So I’ve definitely love the women’s health unit and I love those torn up vags. Go us (women) for being able to withstand such a miracle. Best part of L&D: the men are the brunt of all the jokes. I can hang with these ladies.

Oh, and for all you future mommies out there: Don’t get the epidural. Women with the epidural whine the most when pushing. Those without the epidural are quiet, and push out their buddle of joy 10x faster.


Movin’ on. I have been real busy. I mean super busy. I worked 36 hours in 3 days. Then I had class. And then I had to exercise and try and catch up with my fiance.  Oh, and I got a job. Praise Jesus. As a nurse on a Cardiac Neuro Telemetry unit. It’s a floor that’s near and dear to my heart because it was the first floor I worked on, the floor where I discovered my passion for healing. I haven’t exactly accepted yet because I think I’m going to be offered another position. And I just want to have all my offers before I make life changing decisions. But it got rid of a lot of stress.

KJ and I haven’t exactly spent that much time together. We get dinner together, but that’s about it. I’m honestly too tired. By the time I get home from a 12 hour shift, shower, and eat its 9:00 and I’m snoozing. Luckily my spring semester will more relaxed.

As for the wedding plans, I’ve picked my summer colors. I am biting the bullet. I’m going to take my Vera purse and tell them that I want my reception to have the essence of this purse. (Think Steve Martin in baby mama, ha). No really, chocolate-brown, coral, and a reddish pink color I can’t describe off the top of my head.

As soon as I get my life together these posts will have more meaning and be more consistent.

In other news, I bought a Polar FT7 today. A total impulse purchase. To make a long story short, I want to make sure I’m eating enough calories considering how active I am. I’ve been feeling really sore after the gym every single day, and I just want to make sure I’m doing what I can to be healthy.  I used it once and I must say that I’m completely disappointed in how off the calorie counters are on the treadmills. I ran a measly four miles and it told me I burned 150 calories more than I actually did. Just weird, I think.

Well, I’ve sufficiently rambled for 20 minutes about nothing. Make of it what you will people, I’m tired. Friday I have a date with my fiance. Those are a rare gem.



This entry was posted on January 12, 2012. 4 Comments

Weddings, Weddings, Weddings

It was another day in paradise. I worked a lovely 8 hours on three hours of sleep. No, it wasn’t a fun night. No, I did not have a good time. My body just decided the cool thing to start in 2012 is getting up at 3. Two days in a row. While, I was at work, I overheard a coworker talk about how she got engaged on new years eve. And she already has her venue, date, and was planning on getting her dress this weekend. WTF people.

I’ve been engaged for like, three months, and I have no wedding plans. I’m just not the type of girl who has been dreaming about her wedding day since she was a little girl. In fact, all these wedding plans are stress provoking. I am a ball of nerves. And I’m not even getting married until 2013. Good lord. I need to get a grip, go to yoga, or get on some prozac.

Ok, so I lied. I do have a dream wedding. I have dreamt about having a winter wedding. I love the idea of having a reception room that’s all glass with a fire-place going. I envision listening to music scores of classic christmas songs during the dinner. Even the colors I like work with winter weddings (not summer, thank you).

But the reality is that I live in central PA when it can snow 15+ inches in October with family that is scattered all throughout the USA, Alaska included. So, I guess if I want people to come to my wedding, I need to have it during a weather neutral month. So until I’m inspired with my summer wedding, I just want no part of it. Ugh, there I said it.

And what does KJ think about all this you ask? He is ok with anything that keeps me from being grumpy (which means sleep and chocolate)


So I dunno what the point of my little corner of the blogsphere, but I know that KJ and I have some goals to help us come together as a couple. And I think it would be good to document these goals.


I am a healthy eater. I love eating clean.  I tend to eat either 6 small meals a day or three meals with three snacks. If for some reason I feel particularly inspired at the gym, I tend to eat another “snack”. So yeah, I’m conscious of what goes into my mouth.  DO  NOT GET ME WRONG, I freakin’ love chocolate. In fact, I crave it so bad it hurts. And that’s ok. Thats life! KJ on the other hand, needs more help. He eats two largish meals a day. He skips breakfast, eats lunch around 1 and gets dinner around 7. I have encouraged KJ to eat breakfast, and to get two snacks in while eliminating unnecessary extras from his meals (fries). I also need to broaden my cooking horizons, because one cannot live on eggplant parmesan alone.


I am a runner. I also have a new-found love of weight lifting. Throw in some cycling class and yoga, and that’s my perfect week of working out. When I met KJ he was a stud who wrestled, and was ripped. Since then he gave up wrestling to focus on his classes. He went from having a C average to getting A’s and B’s but at the same time he sacrificed his health and well-being.  And slowly the pounds creeped up. Please, please understand that I love him and am completely attracted to him. What I am worried about is that I am investing my life to someone. And I want to be with him for as long as possible.

So, I have been trying to get him to run, go to cycling, but he put his foot down at Jillian videos and yoga. So, I thought maybe a more manly workout video would work. Enter P90x. This will be starting soon.

Wedding plans:

Yeah, yeah I know I said I didn’t want to worry about that stuff yet, but I want to get myself in a place where I can start to plan. I did look at three venues and I plan to give a post about each, so I can maybe start to narrow it down. Yeah, I’m totally going to make a good ol’ pro and con list.

So there ya have it. I start my LAST semester of nursing school tomorrow. For the month of january, I will be helpin’ to birth babies.


This entry was posted on January 4, 2012. 1 Comment