Ever since I’ve gotten engaged, I have suffered from wedding nightmares. My date is roughly a year and a half away, but I still can’t seem to stop dreaming about all the things that can go wrong with weddings. If you are unfamiliar with the process a lot of things CAN and DO go wrong with weddings. My dreams usually involve the dress.
Ugh, that dumb dress.
I went dress shopping once. It was a disaster. At first, the idea of dress shopping was scary for me. I didn’t want it to trigger me into the negative self talk that I had been trying to overcome. I also thought it would be terrible because I would look bad in all of them because, at the time, I also felt like my body was crap. Although, I realize these feelings are normal for all brides to have going into dress shopping, I feel like it was especially as hard for me because I was working on fixing my disordered eating and over exercising habits. And still currently am.
So in retrospect, I guess I could say the experience was good and bad.
The Good: I went to Elizabethtown to try on dresses at the bridal emporium. The women who helped me was terrific. She was nice and sweet. However, I gathered that not all brides are as laid back as I was about dress shopping, so if you’re a bitching bride, don’t be surprised to find mean staff. That is all. Anyhow, I tried on about 30 dresses. I couldn’t find exactly what style dress I thought I wanted there. So I took the time to figure out what does and doesn’t work by principle. I tried on what my mom thought I should wear: a big poofy thing. And we found that while it looked good it just didn’t show off my “assets” aka I could do better. Then I tried on what my sister thought I should and it didn’t get over my hips. A bridal size 4 equals a women’s 00, just in case there are any self-conscious brides out there. My advice, don’t look at the numbers. It’s not worth it. It’s a dress you will wear once. And I would rather worry about what the man at the end of the aisle will do when he sees me in the dress rather than what size it is. Seriously. And for the record: I want him to fall to his knees and cry out some man tears. What was also good was the out pouring of compliments I was receiving from everyone in the store. It’s a vulnerable moment to go out in a dress and trying to on for tons of people. I don’t even like coming out of the dressing room for one friend let alone 10. Everyone made it easy on me and really helped me to feel secure with myself.
The Bad: I took too many people. It was as if this first experience was more novelty for me than about finding a dress. I had my dad, mom, sister, nephew, and two friends. It was a lot. Because everyone has their opinions. The most opinionated person was my mother. She just has this idea for me, and it’s not my vision. But she also made some triggering comments during the process that made it hard. Once she commented on a dress that didn’t zip up asking them “um, what sizes are you carrying here because she should fit into them?” As annoying as that comment was, I had to remind her that I don’t care about the size. And quite frankly, I wasn’t even sure of the size anyhow! Luckily the staff chimed in about how bridal dresses are about 2-4 sizes smaller than normal sizes. Honestly though, it was hard to hear. My mom is truly a great mother, but she is FAMOUS for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. The other bad part was I tried on too many dresses. By the time I was all done, I was exhausted and I felt mentally drained. You wouldn’t think it would be a tiring process but it was. I just wanted to go back and sleep.
So there you have it. My first wedding dress fitting. The stats were 20 “I hate” and 7 ” I didn’t hate as much.” But the bridal emporium staff was top-notch and the dresses were very reasonable. I tried on these dresses in October and I haven’t tried on any since. I plan to go to another store in the near future and see how things go there.
Oh, and about those wedding dress nightmares? Two nights ago, I had a dream where it was the night before my wedding and KJ and I were driving in a car to go dress shopping because I didn’t have a dress. And in my dream, the anxiety level was super high and he wasn’t being helpful and I started beating him? HAHA, I swear I’m not abusive and I would never ever do that. I just wonder what that means?